Oof, it's the worst. I remember my old therapist told me about the concept of a "vulnerability hangover," and yeah, that sums up that horrible feeling after sharing something and not having it validated in the way you need.
I love this article ! Thank you for sharing. I have experienced the same thing multiple times. More people need to be educated on this and that most people don’t want advice on what to do or feedback when they share their intimate personal experiences that may be painful. We just want someone to acknowledge it and show compassion and be kind through it.
Also, those who say: “Others have it worse than you or maybe you should get help”, I think they are more of people with problems then the one trying to open up.
In sharing that part, I’m learning to step into more compassion for their lack of social and emotional intelligence on how to handle these situations in a more healthy way.
Aren’t we all just wanting love and someone to be a friend? Our world needs more teachings on what a good friend looks like.
Thankful for your vulnerabilities, sharing you heart. Keeping you in my prayers.
I can’t tell you how much this resonates with me. We are told always to be open and honest but sometimes it’s not always the answer we are looking for. Perhaps the beauty will always be in going through the storm on our own and if you are lucky enough to have people who will listen and you feel supportive along then the way then great.. and if you don’t then that’s ok too. Maybe we are meant to weather it alone 💓
I felt every word of this. Sometimes you just want to be heard but I think people feel like they need to "fix" something and it only makes it worse. Know you are not alone in those feelings.
I’ve had the same experience, I opened up about something and the guy told me I should probably seek professional help 😒 that did hurt because I wasn’t being self destructive or erratic in any way I was simply sharing and space was not held for me that’s for sure. But here’s the thing that interaction showed me that he wasn’t my safe person. There are others in my life that do listen and comfort me when I need it. Opening up wasn’t the problem, the problem was that he didn’t know how or just wasn’t interested in being supportive. So yes it’s ok to open up to others. The way they react will show if you can continue to count on them or if they are just not the one.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with vulnerability. It is that thin covering that gives us a little protection. It shows that there are inner hurts and all you want is acceptance, empathy and acknowledgement. No conversation, no advice. Just someone coming alongside to sit and feel with you. It irks me when people say the things they do, just move forward, things will get better, it’s not as bad as you think and the most hurtful because of backlash; open up. I can kick and scream when I hear those words. I wonder if they realise that we actually do know, but we just want to be stuck for a minute or two in that vulnerable place. I am so sad to read this, how opening up got you the lash you didn’t need. Thank you fore sharing. Sorry for the long reply. It hit a nerve. Writing is cathartic. Keep writing. 🌸
this is such an important lesson. a mistake I’ve often made is opening up to people too close to the problem I’m facing, so that even when this person I had taken issue with had pushed me to the edge of a panic attack the person listening was still in defense of if it was really that deep.
when I’m that distraught I don’t WANT an objective opinion. I want someone to acknowledge that I’ve been hurt and have a right to be hurt.
ugh yes. such a solid reminder that being vulnerable shouldn’t feel like a risk, but when it does, it’s a sign to protect your softness and reserve it for ppl who can truly hold it.
we write about similar topics girl - would love to connect & support each others' workk <3
big yikes, been there and its so painful but when you find that person or people who dont respond like that it honestly makes all these moments a little less terrible (and also they can still all go to hell lol)
Oh wow you really captured the feeling of betrayal and hurt. It really hurts when others don’t know how to hold our feelings. And it really is a reflection of them on how they treat themselves. I’m sorry they didn’t hold it properly 🥀
I cried reading this simply because it feels like I could've written this. I feel like this so often and im ALWAYS oversharing or overthinking. This was extremely relatable 😪
So trueee! We just want to be heard. How hard is it to just listen and not make any comments later on?
These days, based on what I am looking for, I have started telling people- i just need you to listen, tell me what you think as a third person, etc. Gives clarity to them, eases my discomfort before opening up!
Oof, it's the worst. I remember my old therapist told me about the concept of a "vulnerability hangover," and yeah, that sums up that horrible feeling after sharing something and not having it validated in the way you need.
I feel like I'm seeing copies of myself ever since I jumped into this platform. It's crazy how vulnerable and authentic one can be here...
You wrote well...
It's like you addressed all those who felt unseen in the past...💙
I love this article ! Thank you for sharing. I have experienced the same thing multiple times. More people need to be educated on this and that most people don’t want advice on what to do or feedback when they share their intimate personal experiences that may be painful. We just want someone to acknowledge it and show compassion and be kind through it.
Also, those who say: “Others have it worse than you or maybe you should get help”, I think they are more of people with problems then the one trying to open up.
In sharing that part, I’m learning to step into more compassion for their lack of social and emotional intelligence on how to handle these situations in a more healthy way.
Aren’t we all just wanting love and someone to be a friend? Our world needs more teachings on what a good friend looks like.
Thankful for your vulnerabilities, sharing you heart. Keeping you in my prayers.
I can’t tell you how much this resonates with me. We are told always to be open and honest but sometimes it’s not always the answer we are looking for. Perhaps the beauty will always be in going through the storm on our own and if you are lucky enough to have people who will listen and you feel supportive along then the way then great.. and if you don’t then that’s ok too. Maybe we are meant to weather it alone 💓
I felt every word of this. Sometimes you just want to be heard but I think people feel like they need to "fix" something and it only makes it worse. Know you are not alone in those feelings.
I’ve had the same experience, I opened up about something and the guy told me I should probably seek professional help 😒 that did hurt because I wasn’t being self destructive or erratic in any way I was simply sharing and space was not held for me that’s for sure. But here’s the thing that interaction showed me that he wasn’t my safe person. There are others in my life that do listen and comfort me when I need it. Opening up wasn’t the problem, the problem was that he didn’t know how or just wasn’t interested in being supportive. So yes it’s ok to open up to others. The way they react will show if you can continue to count on them or if they are just not the one.
totally get this feeling, it absolutely sucks. sometimes all we want to hear is ‘that’s awful’ without a ‘BUT’ - i hear you!!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with vulnerability. It is that thin covering that gives us a little protection. It shows that there are inner hurts and all you want is acceptance, empathy and acknowledgement. No conversation, no advice. Just someone coming alongside to sit and feel with you. It irks me when people say the things they do, just move forward, things will get better, it’s not as bad as you think and the most hurtful because of backlash; open up. I can kick and scream when I hear those words. I wonder if they realise that we actually do know, but we just want to be stuck for a minute or two in that vulnerable place. I am so sad to read this, how opening up got you the lash you didn’t need. Thank you fore sharing. Sorry for the long reply. It hit a nerve. Writing is cathartic. Keep writing. 🌸
Very relatable
this is such an important lesson. a mistake I’ve often made is opening up to people too close to the problem I’m facing, so that even when this person I had taken issue with had pushed me to the edge of a panic attack the person listening was still in defense of if it was really that deep.
when I’m that distraught I don’t WANT an objective opinion. I want someone to acknowledge that I’ve been hurt and have a right to be hurt.
ugh yes. such a solid reminder that being vulnerable shouldn’t feel like a risk, but when it does, it’s a sign to protect your softness and reserve it for ppl who can truly hold it.
we write about similar topics girl - would love to connect & support each others' workk <3
big yikes, been there and its so painful but when you find that person or people who dont respond like that it honestly makes all these moments a little less terrible (and also they can still all go to hell lol)
Oh wow you really captured the feeling of betrayal and hurt. It really hurts when others don’t know how to hold our feelings. And it really is a reflection of them on how they treat themselves. I’m sorry they didn’t hold it properly 🥀
I cried reading this simply because it feels like I could've written this. I feel like this so often and im ALWAYS oversharing or overthinking. This was extremely relatable 😪
So trueee! We just want to be heard. How hard is it to just listen and not make any comments later on?
These days, based on what I am looking for, I have started telling people- i just need you to listen, tell me what you think as a third person, etc. Gives clarity to them, eases my discomfort before opening up!